


Ratchet has roped Drift into a Road Trip

by squireofgeekdom



Series: The Magical Girls Squad [3]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: AU, AU - Gender Changes, AU - Humans, AU - Magical Girls, AU - University, Agender!Ratchet, Aroace!Ratchet, Brief depiction of an anxiety attack, Brief mentions of aphobia/internalized aphobia, Brief mentions of misgendering and deadnaming, Discussion of past sexual assault, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Every named character continues to Not Be Cis, Except for Roller who is named but is sir only appearing over text in this fic, Gen, Happy and Hopeful Ending, Mentioned Demi!Rodimus, Mentioned Trans!Rodimus, More comfort than hurt, Nonbinary!Drift, Road Trip, Victim Blaming, aspec characters, background Ratchet&Roller, but in vague terms, it’s always loving Ratchet hours in this house, moderate angst, nonbinary characters - Freeform, pre-Drift/Rodimus, rolls up to loving Ratchet hours like ‘what’s up you depressed traumatized bastard’, specifically the victim blaming themself, this fic is incredibly self indulgent and i apologize for nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squireofgeekdom/pseuds/squireofgeekdom
Summary: In which Drift and Ratchet take a road trip, it’s not really a songfic if the music is playing in-story, there are bad puns about being aspec and a gratuitous Voyager reference, Ratchet disapproves of some ‘mystical’ shit, there’s an emotionally heavy parked car conversation, Drift and Rodimus really don’t want to hang up the phone, there’s a debate about pineapple on pizza and a shoving war over garlic sticks, there’s only one bed except when there’s an air mattress, and sometimes you just gotta lie on a big rock with your friend until you feel better.
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock & Ratchet
Series: The Magical Girls Squad [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1190902
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	Ratchet has roped Drift into a Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Please read and mind the tags.  
> I don’t think you need to have to have read the previous fics in this series to follow this one, but ‘Ratchet has Accidentally Adopted a Magical Girl Squad,’ the first in this series, sets some context for this self indulgent au. Also, the next fic in this series (after this one) is also Ratchet and Drift centric and is set after this one, it’s sort of a companion fic to this one. So if this is your cup of tea, maybe check that out next.  
> Thanks to Kamemor for listening to me talk about this fic and mllemusketeer for being my first reader and reassuring me that there was at least one person in the audience for this fic.  
> Kamemor (@spacecapart on tumblr and insta) did a really nice drawing of Ratchet in this AU, check it out and check out the rest of their work! https://spacecapart.tumblr.com/post/613413759860473856/a8-for-the-ratchet-from-my-magical-girl-au 
> 
> Musical Accompaniment: i love you - said the whale, sticking with you - addison road, passenger seat - death cab for cutie, small hands - radical face

Drift is moping.

She's fully aware that she's moping, but that isn't doing much to stop her.

So when she runs into Ratchet, with their huge backpack on, on their way to their car, she asks where they’re going with a sense of wistfulness for the idea of being anywhere but here.

“Sedona,” Ratchet answers, and then pauses, considering, “do you want to -”

She says yes before Ratchet can even finish the sentence. Anything to get out of her and Rodimus's place.

Maybe she doesn't think too closely about how it's odd that Ratchet, of all people, is heading out on a spontaneous trip. Less odd than it would be if it were, say, Minimus, but still.

She should have noticed something.

She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees that Rodimus is out when she runs back up to their place to grab her bag. She jogs back down to the parking structure, and finds Ratchet’s rav4 and no Ratchet.

She gets out her phone to text Ratchet, hoping that they actually have it on, but Ratchet rushes up with their backpack before she can get halfway through composing the text. 

“Had to grab some stuff,” they say, unlocking the car, and Drift follows them, climbing in next to them in the passenger seat.

Ratchet drives, hands on the wheel, as they drive off of campus, out of Flagstaff, the radio playing.

"Are we good for the road?" Drift asks over the music as they get onto 89A and she realizes how low the sun is dipping. The road has tight turns along its switchbacks, down into Oak Creek Canyon, and once in the canyon there are always tourists parked up and walking along the side of the road by the water at Slide Rock.

"There'll still be light when we get there," Ratchet says. "I'll be fine."

Ratchet taps their finger on the steering wheel absentmindedly in tune with the music. Maybe it’s nervously; Drift doesn't notice. It means Ratchet isn't looking for conversation, and that's fine. The two of them could as easily sit, each doing their own thing, in silence for an hour, as argue and bicker for the same amount of time. Sitting in silence, she feels the beginnings of the same calm she sometimes finds when she meditates. She needs that right now.

She needs some clarity. Some space.

With Rodimus, even when the two of them aren't talking - and they can talk for hours - they’re talking. Everything is a dialogue, whether it was her trying to walk Rodimus through a new yoga move or Rodimus teaching her a new cheer routine, or telling each other long rambling stories about everything and anything, peppered with questions, or making faces and nudging each other when they watched Sailor Moon or Star Trek, or bouncing off of each other's latest ideas until they were sure they could start a food truck -

And now she’s thinking about Rodimus again, dammit.

Trying to think about something else, she quickly comes to the fact that she has no idea where they're going once they get to Sedona - they'll need to stay overnight, in any case. But they've already reached the switchbacks, so she saves that question for later, she doesn't want to distract Ratchet while they're driving these turns.

Ratchet looks totally unconcerned, though, as they stare out the windshield, hands on the wheel, even as the radio fades in and out as they go down the switchbacks.

_\- you're kinda sad but I love you..._

Then again, that doesn't say much; Ratchet often looks impassive when they're at their most broken down.

_...know it's stupid but I love you_

The music softens and fades with faint static, then humming back again. Drift can't help but smile at the lyrics.

_... bad sense of humor_

_A little rough around the ..._

Drift wonders when Ratchet will turn the dial off in frustration with the way the song cuts in and out, but they don't, and she’s happy for that.

_... kinda soft in the middle_

_You love those boring ..._

She hardly knows anyone in this day and age who still uses actual car radios for, well, radio, and not just using the car’s speakers for playing something from their phone. But that's Ratchet; they're still annoyed about having to give up their flip phone when it finally broke down. For all Drift knows, the sound quality has very little to do with the canyon and very much to do with the age of Ratchet's car.

Thankfully, the old hooptie makes it off the switchbacks, and Drift relaxes a little.

"So -” She asks, “where are we going?"

"Sedona." Ratchet says, glancing over at her like they're concerned for her sanity. She’s used to the expression.

Drift rolls her eyes. "No, I mean - we're going to stay overnight, right?"

"Yeah." Ratchet says, then adds. "I've got some family friends there." Drift blinks. "The kind who decided they still wanted to talk to me, after." Ratchet adds, rubbing their thumbs along the steering wheel. 

"Ah," Drift says. There’s not much she can say to that. It’s not like she has family she talks to either. 

“I was going to stay for the weekend. But I can drive you back if you -” Ratchet shakes their head. “This was stupid.”

“It’s fine,” she says, struck with worry at the dull self-loathing in Ratchet’s voice. “Don’t worry about it. I came along because I wanted to,” she adds for emphasis.

Ratchet doesn’t say anything, and the song on the radio changes over amidst the static. 

_\- me you're talking to_

_... going on inside ..._

They wind down through the canyon, the radio still playing. It occurs to Drift that she hasn't asked Ratchet why they wanted to go to Sedona.

As though they read Drift's mind, Ratchet asks, "So why _were_ you in such a hurry to get off campus?"

 _Uh._ "Uh." Drift says.

_Don't have to say it, but ..._

_... be much easier_

The radio fades in and out in the pause in their conversation, but finally Drift speaks. "I told Rodimus I wanted to get my own place."

"You WHAT?" Ratchet starts, "Why? You two are practically joined at the hip, you -"

"I'm -" in love with her. "I'm having feelings. Romantic feelings. About. uh. Rodimus."

Neither of them talks for a moment, and the music fades back in to break the silence.

_-try and shut me out_

_I'm staying here ..._

"Well, I suppose I can be glad that I figured that one," Ratchet says finally, rolling their eyes.

"Hey," Drift protests, "I'm not that obvious."

Ratchet raises their eyebrows, but doesn't say anything.

_... might let you down, but I won't let you go_

Drift lets the faint static of the radio wash over her, and shakes her head. "I - I've known for a while."

"So, what the fuck are you doing now?" Ratchet says, on the fine line between brusque and snappish where even Drift can't tell what they're going for, and she suspects Ratchet couldn't tell her either.

"I - I want to tell her."

Drift doesn’t _want_ to tell her. The idea of telling Rodimus leaves a cold pit of fear in her stomach. Just the idea of saying _that_ is bad enough; far, far worse is the idea that she could damage or even lose the trust and friendship she has now. 

But she thinks she finally has the courage to say it anyway, to trust that honesty is for the best. Maybe even for the good.

The thing that scares her worst, that makes her want to grab the wheel, toss Ratchet in the backseat, hit the gas and not slow down until she hits Nogales, to run away and not stop, is just how frightened she is of losing Rodimus’s friendship. Having someone that deep in her heart, that she could lose? 

She hadn’t let that happen in a long time. She knows how bad it hurts.

And now she’s let it happen twice. 

She looks over at Ratchet, who’s staring out the window, tapping on the steering wheel as the music plays.

_So lean into me ... to know_

_... the fear you hold_

"So… you want to tell me if you’ve figured her out too?" Drift says, going for joking but probably too nervous to hit it.

Ratchet keeps tapping the steering wheel with their left hand, their right hand drifting away to rub at their left wrist. "I don't know."

"But if you were going to call it -" Drift starts. She thinks Rodimus feels the same way, she's almost sure, she hopes. But this isn't something she wants to take chances with. And Ratchet's apparent doubt -

"I wouldn't have said anything to Rodimus about you," Ratchet snaps, "I didn't _know_ until you _told_ me, I just - I guessed, and I kept it to myself. I'm not - going to speculate." they add, simmering down a little. "Making assumptions like that just hurts everyone."

"Yeah." Drift says, soberly. "Sorry. I'm just - nervous." she adds. "It's Rodimus. I don't want to screw this up."

Ratchet stops rubbing their wrist, still tapping on the steering wheel. "I - wouldn't be surprised. If she felt the same way." They say, finally. "But what if she doesn't?"

"That's why I want to move out."

"You want to _move out_ if she's not - interested in you like that?"

"No -" Drift starts, "I mean, yes, but not like that. I don't want her to be uncomfortable, knowing. I think she'll be more comfortable if I'm not - in her space like that, and we'll have the best chance of staying friends. And, I mean, if she is -" Drift adds, trying to find a way to articulate that she doesn't want to start trying to date her best friend while they're both living together. Living together _before_ their first date would be leaning _way_ too into the cliche, "I - I don't know. I don't want that kind of situation.

"You'll still want to be friends?" Ratchet asks, something surprised and tentative and unlike them in their voice. “Not -”

"Of _course_ I'll still want to be her friend!" Drift exclaims. "Being friends with her is one of the best things that's _ever_ happened to me, I _love_ being her friend." she says, "I just hope she still wants to be my friend, no matter what happens."

Ratchet's stopped tapping. For a moment, Drift catches them looking away from the windshield, glancing at Drift. 

Drift’s just getting more nervous with this delay. Dammit this is just what she was trying to avoid, _more_ worrying about - this.

After a long while, Ratchet starts, "I - you know she's -"

"Oh, for fuck's sake,” Drift rolls her eyes, “of course I know she's trans, Ratch, is there anyone on our hall who’s _cis?_ "

"I meant arospec." Ratchet says, quietly.

 _Oh_. "Oh." Drift says. "Yeah, of course I know she's demi.” Demiromantic, and demisexual too, D&D to Ratchet’s triple-A, like Rodimus likes to joke. “Sorry," she adds.

"It's nothing," Ratchet taps the steering wheel.

Drift tries to breathe steadily, but the words pour out in an anxious torrent. "Do you think I'm jumping the gun? Is this too early -"

"'Too early' makes it sound like she's just going to fall in love with you if you're friends long enough." Ratchet’s voice is bitter.

"I didn't mean it like that," Drift protests. "I know that's not how it works. I'm not -" she shakes her head before she can put her foot in her mouth again. Finally, she says, "I'm really nervous about this, Ratch, can you cut me some slack?"

Ratchet frowns. "Okay." they say slowly, staring at the windshield, jaw still tight. 

Drift leans back in the seat, staring out the window, aggravated and jittery with stress. She tries her best to calm her breathing as the trees go by.

Eventually, Ratchet adds, still tense, "Figured you'd start dating eventually."

Drift isn't sure whether they mean 'dating Rodimus' or just dating in college in general. "Hey," she says, softening in sympathy, "no matter what happens, I'm not going to be any less committed to annoying you, so don't even try," she adds, and means it.

Ratchet snorts, but their jaw relaxes a little, and Drift will take that win.

They sit in silence as the staticky song ends.

_... with you_

_I'm sticking with you_

"I think," Ratchet says slowly, "Rodimus is still going to want to be your friend, no matter what. As long as you want to be hers."

Drift feels her shoulders drop a little, relaxing.

"But you know Rodimus, right?" Ratchet adds.

She knows Rodimus. She knows Rodimus was hurt when the two of them talked about it. She didn't want to stay with that hurt any longer. "Yes."

"You - I mean, 'I want to move out' is kind of - " Ratchet taps their fingers on the steering wheel. "I mean, anyone would - and it's Rodimus, she's, y'know," which is a short Ratchet-y way of saying 'has rejection sensitivity as part of her ADHD symptoms', "hell, you might as well have lit up a neon sign that said 'You're terrible, I hate you, bye forever?'"

Drift buries her face in her hands. Ratchet is, annoyingly, right. "I - yeah." she starts. "But I can't tell her why I'm leaving, not now, I can't - I don't have a place - I can't move out now, if I tell her now I'm just putting her in - "

"But it's already _bad_." Ratchet says, "You wanted to leave campus. So she's upset. Right?"

"Yeah." Drift admits.

"You should - I don’t know, text her." Ratchet says. "Call her when we get to better service, or whatever -” Ratchet continues, rambling a little, “hell, I can turn around, once we get to somewhere that’s not -"

"No, we're -" No matter what Ratchet said, Drift's not sure if she's ready to face Rodimus. And Ratchet has their own reasons for going to Sedona, whatever the hell those are. "we're almost there already. It'd be dark through the switchbacks if we turned around now."

Ratchet rubs their thumbs over the steering wheel. "Yeah. I suppose."

Drift unlocks their phone to several increasingly angry and panicked texts from Rodimus and even one from Minimus, all having expected her back at the place she shared with Rodimus by now.

'im fine, all good, with ratch, on way to sedona, staying overnight' she sends to Rodimus and then Minimus.

Then, just to Rodimus. 'sorry for not telling you, didn't mean to worry you.

you’re my best friend and i love you.

can i call you when i get there? pretty soon' she adds, as they've come out of the canyon.

Rodimus is typing as soon as Drift sends the first text, and as soon as Drift sends the last one there’s a rapid fire stream of texts back: 'glad ur ok'

pls dont disappear like that again

think i freaked out mims

whys ratch going to sedona

a longer period of typing, then: 'same

pls call'

'k, will call' Drift types, then leans back and says aloud "Fuck."

"What did she say?"

"I'm going to call her." Drift says. "What the fuck do I say?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Ratchet says.”Just tell her - whatever you want to tell her.”

"That doesn't solve the problem, I haven't moved out yet, I haven't got a place -"

"You can crash at mine."

"I'm sorry, I can _what?"_

"You can crash at mine. I'll - whatever, get an air mattress."

"For me?"

"Well I'm sure as hell not sleeping on a fucking air mattress." Ratchet says. "It'll be a squeeze, but it's not like we've got that much left in the semester. As long as you start looking for another place soon, you’ll move out after that.” Ratchet taps the wheel and considers. “I think there's a grad student moving out on the first floor, actually."

Drift blinks. "You're serious."

"Of course. As long as you keep the nonsense in my place to a minimum."

Drift briefly pictures living with Ratchet - worse, living with Ratchet during the end of the semester. "You know we'll kill each other by week two, right? Well, drive each other up the wall -"

"You mean you'll kill me. You literally have a - overpowered lightning sword." They add as Drift opens her mouth. "And I’ll take that over dealing with this - nonsense for three more weeks."

The casual way Ratchet talks about being killed, even jokingly, tugs at something Drift’s been worried about for a while. She puts it on the growing pile of reasons for concern, slowly tipping towards a long conversation with Ratchet in the future, before focusing on the matter at hand.

She thinks about the suggestion. It might be easier to tell Rodimus on a call, to not have to see her reaction, to have the added buffer of the phone. But Rodimus deserves better than that. "Not now. I don't want to tell her over the phone. But - thanks."

"Well, tell her something, because I've got no interest in going back to some - weepy Rodimus. Absolutely not.” Ratchet shakes their head vehemently, “I do not keep enough hot cocoa for that."

Drift smiles, finally. "Thanks, Ratch."

She looks back down at her phone, a painstakingly grammatical reply from Minimus, and the opposite from Rodimus.

'srsly tho whys ratch off to sedona

they dont like do that their holo stops if they get too far from hospital'

Drift grins at the Voyager reference - the two of them have been watching through the various Treks together for most of the year, stealing Ratchet to watch with the two of them whenever they were free. 'dont know, they just asked me to come' Drift types back.

"Punch in Sedona Pizza Company," Ratchet says as they pull around a roundabout. "They have vegan 'cheese'," they add, before Drift can ask.

Drift puts in the directions for the pizza place. "So we're getting pizza for dinner."

"Yeah."

"What about -"

"I am not going to one of your raw food places."

"Ah yes, 'We invented fire and we should not just -'"

"Imitate me all you want, I'm still right." Ratchet says, but there’s the faint edge of a smile at Drift’s teasing.

Drift grins and leans back, "It's not going to be as good as the Pizza Patio."

"Is anywhere?" Ratchet says, then taps the steering wheel. "Well, Roller keeps talking about how good Magpies’ is, but they don't have deep-dish, I don't think. Vegan 'cheese' though." they add, for Drift's benefit.

"So it's not the pizza that brought you down here," Drift says, "did you decide to finally investigate... the Voooorteeex?"

"Do not even get me started," Ratchet says, getting started. "Can we not appreciate amazing wonders of geology and nature without some asshole trying to hock a cheap buck out of making it ‘ _ooooh mystical_ ’? I mean, look at this place!" Ratchet says, tilting their head to where towering formations of red rock are coming into view.

Drift stares out the windshield. The sun is down, the sky still painted in red and the beginnings of purple, casting the stone into even more vibrant hues, bringing out the deepest reds and the richness of the oranges, turning the pale yellow bands of stone to gold. Her breath catches in her chest for a moment, awestruck at the grandeur.

Ratchet has paused for several long moments to look too, their face relaxing for a moment, the fading light reflected off their freckled face, before - "See? What more do people fucking want?" they thump the heel of their hand on the steering wheel. "Can this town let me rest?"

"Maybe some people appreciate amazing wonders differently than you do." Drift says, grinning. 

"Maybe some people are suckers," Ratchet grumbles. 

“It’s a transcendent place, it inspires reverence. Plenty of people have considered it sacred. Who knows,” she teases, “maybe there really is -”

“Don’t even start. That ‘Vortex’ nonsense’s got nothing to do with the place being pretty or - _‘whatever,’_ no matter what they say. You know it’s a tourist trap as much as I do.”

"So not the Vortex." Drift says, and Ratchet grunts and stares out the windshield as they begin to slowly drive towards what could perhaps be called ‘downtown’. “Why, then?” 

Ratchet’s silent for a long time, then says. "There's a medical conference on campus.”

Drift waits for them to finish. They don’t. “And you’re not chomping at the bit to be there because?” she asks.

“Because I’d rather not be there."

“Why -” Drift starts. 

"I haven’t done anything worth being there," Ratchet says. They snort and shake their head. "I've hardly done anything _worthwhile_ since I was pre-med, honestly."

"Well that's stupid."

Ratchet snorts.

"You do plenty," Drift says. "And you're here. That means you belong."

"I’ve hardly been as good since -" they shake their head. "I guess it’s just harder to give a fuck these days. Sorry."

Drift stares at them. "Ratchet," she says, "I'm going to try and say this as kindly as possible, but: anyone who thinks you don't give a fuck either never met you or is the densest bastard alive, and yes," she adds, "I am including you in that."

Ratchet snorts again, but there’s the edge of a smile on their face.

“So,” Drift says, after a minute. “Why don’t you _want_ to be there?”

Ratchet hesitates for a long moment. “There’s - another attendee. From another university, I didn’t -” Ratchet shakes their head. "He _deserves_ to be there. So I figured I should do something nice for once, and just let him have it."

Something about the way Ratchet said that sets off a red flag in Drift’s brain. “Who is ‘he’?”

Ratchet’s gaze out the windshield is terrifyingly distant; for a split second Drift regrets asking the question, terrified she’s going to have to grab the steering wheel. But Ratchet’s hand on the wheel stays steady even as their other hand twists around their wrist. “A med student who _belongs_ there.” Ratchet says. “We went to the same undergrad.” Drift can practically hear Ratchet’s teeth grinding.

“You knew each other?”

“This is stupid.” Ratchet says. “I shouldn’t be skipping a whole conference over it; it’s nothing.” They run their thumbs over the steering wheel. 

Another red flag goes up in Drift’s brain. The picture slowly coming into focus; of Ratchet not wanting to even be on the same campus as someone they had known on campus, and the fact they’re dismissing _themself_ instead of just calling him a horse’s ass or some other typically Ratchet insult - of which Drift has heard plenty from Ratchet, for anyone from incompetant coworkers to uncooperative insurance reps to anti-vax parents. That Ratchet had left campus with no notice and yet doesn’t have a _tirade_ about why - 

Her hands curl into fists on her thighs, gripping the fabric of her leggings.

Ratchet keeps rambling. “I’ll go back in the morning, I can do something about late registration - I’ll check if my cancellation has even gone through. I -”

Ratchet swings into the parking lot outside the pizza place. Drift stares at them as they park and turn off the car.

“Let’s get pizza.” Ratchet says, staring out the windshield.

“Ratchet,” Drift asks, “what is ‘it’?”

“It?” Ratchet looks confused for a moment. “It’s _nothing_ , Drift.” Ratchet says, running their hand around their wrist. It looks like it hurts. “It’s just better if I’m not around him.” 

_“Why?”_ Drift says, another red flag popping up. 

“It was college. I wasn’t out as trans, I hadn’t changed my name.” Ratchet says, matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to deal with deadnaming shit on top of the _regularly_ scheduled misgendering _,_ ” they say, and that makes Drift angry _enough_ on Ratchet’s behalf, but if that was the whole story, Ratchet would have said that _first_. “And I don’t need comments on how short my hair is now,” they add, bitterly, before snapping their mouth shut. One hand still flies to the back of their head, though, like they’re checking their hair’s still short. 

Well that’s a flag as red as Ratchet’s hair. There is a kindling flame at the end of a cloth in the molotov cocktail of her anger. But she’s not sure. She takes a deep breath. “We’ve met folks who knew you before you came out - I mean, Roller, for one. And you talk about Ironhide all the time,” well, more than twice, which is a lot for Ratchet, “Why -” 

“Roller’s different.” 

“Different how?”

Ratchet shakes their head. “I should be fine. It wasn’t like I was this stupid when he was by campus before -”

“When?”

Ratchet shrugs. “Early last semester. Suppose I was distracted by being ‘kidnapped’ and y’all being superheroes and that nonsense -” Ratchet shakes their head. “That was weird enough.”

Drift thinks about how the demonic alien entities she and the others fought sometimes frequently picked up on strong human emotions - _obsessive_ emotions - that shaped how they manifested. They had all thought knife-hands had kidnapped Ratchet because he’d tracked the flare of Rodimus’s transformation, but what if there had been something else going on as well? The timing seemed like too much of a coincidence, Drift considers, a larger red flag rising. Her anger at knife-hands hasn’t dulled, and just this mention unburies it, still sharp. She can _feel_ the way she would channel it into lightning on her sword. 

She works _so hard_ to keep her voice level. “So why leave this time?”

“Because I _did,_ Drift, sometimes I do dumb shit, are you happy? I just _ditch_ when -”

“Don’t.” Drift says. “You know that’s not it. Don’t -” she starts, and then realizes she can’t find the words.

Ratchet just huffs and twists their hand over their wrist. 

Drift hesitates. “You knew him in college.”

“We were _friends_ in college.” Ratchet says, voice cracking under the weight they put on the word _friends_ , holding their left hand against their chest and twisting their right hand around their left wrist. “But he thought - he _wanted,”_ Ratchet droops, staring into their lap with a faint shake of their head, “should have just gone along with it. _Everyone_ thought -” Ratchet collapses back in their seat.

The picture forming in Drift’s head shifts very rapidly into better focus, and the flame rushing down the cloth surges, ready to make her explode with anger. She hardly hears Ratchet’s next words through the effort she’s making to control her breathing.

“We’re not close anymore. And if I -”

“Ratchet - everyone knows you aren’t looking for -” Drift says, talking too fast but hopefully keeping much of the anger out of her voice, “you’ve been out as aroace since, what, the _start_ of college -

“To friends,” Ratchet says, which Drift knows means ‘friends that wouldn’t tell their parents.’

“Yeah, and you’ve always said you’re not -”

Ratchet snorts. “Not like anyone believes that. No one’s interested in me being - defective, unless they think they can ‘fix me’.” Ratchet says, twisting the black ring on their finger. “No one listens.” 

Part of Drift wants to say ‘I listen,’ but she knows Ratchet already isn’t counting her. She doesn’t need to ‘not all -’ the conversation, certainly when it’s clearly hard enough for Ratchet to say all this. 

“And why should they?” Ratchet adds, “I’m a heartless bastard, and my head’s already -”

“ _No.”_ Drift insists. “ _That_ actually is stupid, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” Because someone else _has_ said that, Drift would bet every dollar in her wallet on that, and that was saying something. 

“You’ll fight me?” Ratchet asks, probably aiming for dry but not quite managing to hide the evidence of the lump in their throat.

Drift takes a deep breath. “I’ll fight you, I’ll fight your dog…” Drift starts, and finally gets Ratchet to crack a smile. “There’s nothing there to fix,” she adds, gently.

“I know,” Ratchet says, sounding exhausted. Like they were struggling to believe that themself.

Drift's brain is all dozens of red flags and dozens of charging bulls ready to gore them. “What happened?” She asks, trying to keep her voice level amidst the growing flame on the molotov cocktail of her anger.

Ratchet snorts and it sounds like they’re choking, “I’m the cold, heartless bastard who led him on, what the fuck do you think happened?”

 _“Ratchet.”_ Drift starts, hearing what she’s _dead_ _sure_ are someone else’s words coming out of Ratchet’s mouth. Distantly, she’s starting to worry that her fingernails are going to rip through the fabric of her leggings from how tightly her fists are clenched. “Did he -”

Ratchet twists their hand around their wrist. "Not his fault. He was drunk. I was - stupid. Should have known."

“Ratchet -” Drift starts. “- being drunk is not some kind of - excuse for -”

“Don’t - don’t sound like _that._ It’s not - it’s not like what you -”

“ _How_ is it not like what I think?” Drift says, and oh, she’s failing to hold back her anger now. 

“It’s just not.” Ratchet insists. “I don’t want to - talk about it. It’s not worth - this.” Ratchet says. “It’s my fault, and it’s over, and I’m being stupid.”

“It’s _not_ your fault and you’re _not_ being stupid.” Drift insists. “Don’t you dare. You’d _never_ say that to anyone else, no matter what. _No matter what._ You didn’t - owe him _anything,_ just because he _wanted_ something from you, _no matter what,_ no matter who you are -- and you’d _never_ deserve that, _no matter what._ And don’t tell me that’s not true,” Drift adds, “because you’d say the _exact_ same thing if you were sitting in my seat.”

Ratchet stares down at the steering wheel. 

“Do you want me to kill that guy for you?” Drift asks. She’s not joking, though she’d pretend she was if that would make Ratchet more comfortable.

“Don’t.”

“I’m willing to - _restrain myself_ to lopping off minor body parts.”

She could. She wouldn’t even need her sword. 

She’d certainly feel better about that than some of the things she’s done.

But not until she knows Ratchet is okay, and safe. That’s what matters.

 _“Drift.”_ Ratchet says, with gritted teeth, and then sighs. “You may be a superhero or some such, but I’m no more a - ‘ _damsel in distress’_ or whatever - than you are.”

Well, Drift sure knows that. She’s fairly sure after last time Ratchet was kidnapped, they’re officially winning the ‘worst damsel in distress’ stakes. Still, “You don’t think I’m a damsel in distress?” Drift says, pressing a mock-fainting hand to her forehead, “Oh, _Ratchet.”_

Ratchet’s snort turns into a brief burst of laughter. Drift is relieved to have gotten them to relax a bit.

After a long moment, Drift asks what she can’t hold back anymore, “Did you ever? Talk about it?” 

“There’s _nothing_ worth talking about.”

_“Ratchet.”_

“I -” they shake their head, “it _came up._ Then. Just with -” Ratchet looks in Drift’s direction sharply for a second before looking away. “ _Not_ like - it _wasn’t_ something to do _that,_ not to -” they finally take their right hand against their left wrist to thump it against the steering wheel. “He’s a good student and he’s going to be a good doctor and -” they insist, “and nobody needs to lose that because I’m -” they shake their head.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Drift says fiercely, feeling the fabric of her leggings give way under the tension of her fists. “You’d _never_ tell any of us to keep quiet, no matter who it was.”

“I don’t _want_ to -” 

“Ratchet -”

“It’s stupid, and nobody will be better for - “ they shake their head, their breathing fast. “ _I don’t want to talk about it._ ”

“Okay,” Drift says, “Ratch. It’s okay.”

Ratchet’s breathing steadies slightly after a minute.

“Have you ever - talked to anyone? Just for you, not - ” 

Ratchet snorts. “There are real people with real problems who need ‘ _therapy,’_ Drift.”

“Since when are you not a real person?” Drift asks, and Ratchet lets out a weak laugh. “This isn’t - “

"This is stupid," Ratchet says, with finality. "Let's go eat pizza. I’m buying."

“Ratchet -” Drift says, but they’re already climbing out of the car -

\- or rather, starting to. They start to get up and then immediately sit back down.

“Ratchet?” Drift asks, and then again, after a few seconds, “Ratchet?”

Ratchet waves Drift off. “Fine. Just. A minute.” Ratchet doesn’t say anything for a minute, and in the silence Drift can only notice how their breathing’s gone sharp and quick again. 

Drift refocuses from thoughts of murder to figuring out how to help Ratchet. There’s a blanket in the backseat and Drift pulls it up to the front. “Blanket?”

“My legs. Driving. Fine.” They take the blanket anyway, their fingers clenched so tight it must hurt as they pull it over their legs. 

“Ratch.”

Ratchet doesn’t say anything.

“Do you want me to stay?” Ratchet doesn’t say anything. “You can shake your head for no.”

Ratchet gives the tiniest of nods before dropping their head onto the steering wheel.

“It’s not your fault.” Drift says, quietly, careful not to touch them. “You didn’t deserve it.”

There’s a faint movement of Ratchet’s head. Drift can’t tell if it’s a nod or not.

They sit in silence for twenty minutes as Ratchet’s breathing gradually slows. Eventually, Ratchet tugs the blanket off their legs and goes to unlock the door. 

“You sure?”

“It’s just _pizza._ ” Ratchet says, shooting their best-muster of a glare at Drift. It doesn’t actually pass muster but they’re clearly trying. “It’s not a marathon.”

Still, Ratchet drops quickly into a table in the corner when they get inside, leaning back against the wall.

“Do you want to order?” Drift asks. “You know the place.” 

Ratchet nods with relief as Drift gets up to wash her hands.

Her phone vibrates, and she looks down to see Rodimus is calling. She waves at Ratchet to let them know she’s going to step outside.

“Rodimus?” She says, answering the phone as she pushes open the door.

“Oh thank god, are you okay? Is Ratchet -?”

“We’re fine. I’m sorry I didn’t call - Ratchet had a -” Ratchet would probably blow a gasket if she told anyone they had an anxiety attack, not that they’d even call it that. “Ratchet’s fine, they were just in a bad way for a minute.”

“They’re okay though? Not hurt?”

“They’ll be alright. Not hurt.” Not _now._ Drift worries at the torn bits of her leggings. She takes steady breaths, careful to keep anger out of her voice. 

“Do you - do you need to go?” 

“Not right this second, we’re alright.” Drift says. “Ratchet’s ordering pizza.”

“Rude of you to get pizza without me.” Rodimus says, and Drift laughs.

There’s a few moments of silence, and then Rodimus starts. “You - you wanted to talk?”

“I - yeah.” Drift takes a deep, steadying breath, “listen, I - when I said I was going to move out, I - I should have thought about how that sounded. I didn’t mean to upset you, and I’m really sorry.”

“I - it’s - I’m the one who freaked out and made you feel like you needed to leave for _Sedona,_ Drift, it’s -”

“It was Ratchet’s idea, actually,” Drift says. 

“Wait, what?” She can practically _hear_ the screeching halt Rodimus’s mind comes to. “When you said they’d asked you I assumed you were joking. Are you sure they haven’t been replaced by a pod person? Like, have you checked?”

“Well, they’re buying me pizza and they keep being grouchy about the Vortex,” _and blaming themself for things that aren’t their fault,_ “so I’m pretty sure.”

“You’re not actually going to let them pay, right?”

“Oh, of course not.” Ratchet had managed to get away with buying exactly two boxes of Drift’s favorite tea before Drift had developed a system of sneaking in her own tea bags to refill them every time she had tea over there. She’s almost certain that Ratchet knows she’s doing it, but, well. They’re a stubborn bastard. Good thing, too, or they probably wouldn’t be friends.

When she has _this_ money - well. It’s no good unless she spends it on friends who deserve it. She’d stock Ratchet’s whole fridge if she thought Ratchet would accept it. As it is, she’ll just keep giving them conveniently lunch and dinner sized leftover containers of food every time she and Rodimus cook. Ratchet can protest if they want, _she will not be stopped._

“Drift?”

Okay, so maybe she’s zoning out to avoid thinking about what to say to Rodimus. 

“Listen, I -” Drift stutters. “There are things I want to say face to face, okay? Not - it’s not -” dammit, this is why she didn’t want to talk, she can’t say it’s good things, because she doesn’t know how Rodimus feels, she’s putting her foot in her mouth.

“I -”

“But I don’t want to move out because - look, I like living with you. I like _you._ I meant it when I said you’re my best friend, and I love you.”

“I…” Rodimus trails away for a moment. “So - why do you want to move out? You didn’t -”

“I - I don’t - I want to talk about it face to face, right?” Drift starts, “But it’s just - I want you to be happy, alright? And I want - I want good things for us, yeah?”

“Yeah?”

“Trust me, okay? 

A long exhale. “Of course.” Another breath. “Of course.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Rodimus says. “Tell Ratchet ‘hi’ for me, okay? You both have a good trip.”

“Will do.”

“Take pictures!” Rodimus says, and Drift grins.

“I will.” 

Drift can almost hear Rodimus’s smile over the phone.

Drift smiles, too. 

“Should… should I hang up?”

“I guess I should hang up.” Drift says. “I should go eat.”

“I should let you eat.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, I’m hanging up now.”

“Okay. Wait! I love you!”

“I love you too!” Drift smiles into her phone.

“I’ll let you get your pizza.”

“Okay.” Drift says, hanging on to her phone, “Bye!”  
  
“Bye!” 

Drift holds on to her phone for another moment before finally hitting the end call button. She smiles down at her phone for a minute, soaking up the warmth, before going back into the pizza place. 

Ratchet glances up and then back down when Drift sits down. “Order should be here in a minute.”

“Everything’s… good.” Drift says, finally letting out a sigh of relief. 

Ratchet blinks. “Good.” After a moment they seem to remember what Drift is talking about. “Right. Good.”

“Ratch -” Drift starts, and then there’s hot pizza coming towards her. 

Ratchet’s ordered themself a plain cheese pizza and garlic sticks- no surprise there - and Drift a pizza with soy cheese, peppers, and pineapple. 

“Aw, you got me pineapple.” 

“Yes, I am indulging your nonsense. You’re welcome.”

Drift gives them a big gremlin smirk and takes a big enthusiastic bite. “Mmm, delicious.”

“It’s not just _fruit_ on pizza, it’s _stringy_ fruit.”

Drift grins. “Here, try some.” Ratchet makes a face. “Just try the cheese, here,” Drift takes a plastic fork and spears the pepper and pineapple off a slice of the pizza and shoves them in her mouth, then lifts the slice up to pass to Ratchet. 

“I’m not taking like … a fifth of your dinner. You need to eat.”

“Oh, fine,” Drift says, grabbing a plastic knife and tearing the slice in half. “Here, try some.” 

Ratchet grumbles. “Eat the rest of the garlic sticks then.”

Drift takes one and pushes the last one in the basket back to Ratchet. Ratchet takes the half slice of pizza and then shoves the basket back to Drift, which leads to a brief basket-shoving war until Drift breaks the garlic stick in half. 

Ratchet considers the half slice of pizza, taking a cautious bite.

“What do you think?” 

"It's fine. It's not cheese."

Drift just looks at them.

"Hey, I got rid of eggs," Ratchet says defensively, looking at the basket with the half garlic stick like they’re trying to figure out how to trick Drift into eating it. 

"And we're all very proud of you."

"It helps if you don't say it with the maximum amount of condescension."

"Really?” Drift grins. “I thought you'd been following the golden rule all this time."

Ratchet looks up at her. "You're incredibly annoying, you know that?"

"Why do you think we're friends?"

Ratchet snorts and takes another bite of their own pizza. "Thanks for coming with me."

"Yeah." Drift says. "It was - a good idea."

Ratchet chews, then asks, "you're still taking the B12 and Omega 3 supplements, right?"

"See, there you go." Drift says, and Ratchet snorts. "Yes, Ratchet, I am taking them." She coughs. "Mother hen."

Ratchet grabs another slice of pizza, and Drift pulls out her phone to get a picture of Ratchet and both of the pizzas.

“What are you doing?”  
  
“I told Rodimus I’d take pictures.”

“Of _me_ and _pizza_?” 

“Oh yes, definitely.” Ratchet makes a face, and Drift takes the picture and immediately texts it to Rodimus. 

Ratchet snorts, and shakes their head. Drift grins as they take another bite of pizza and somehow manage to make the action grumpy.

“C’mon,” Drift starts as Ratchet finishes the slice, “you have the last half of the garlic stick.” she says, nudging the basket back towards Ratchet.

Ratchet grumbles and takes it anyway. 

“So,” Drift starts after another slice of pizza, and Ratchet immediately tenses. “Are you going back to the conference tomorrow?”

Ratchet finishes chewing a bite. “I should,” they say, which isn’t a yes, but which probably means they’re going to make themself do it, come hell or high water.

Drift thinks for a minute. "Would it be better if Roller were here?"

Ratchet frowns. "Roller... knows," they say slowly, half to themself, then abruptly shake their head. "I'm not bothering Roller. Definitely not for something this stupid."

"That's not the question," Drift says. “Is he even on shift this weekend?”

“I - no.”

“So would it be better if he were here?”

" _Sure_ , everyone probably feels safer when they've got a 6 foot 5 and - that -” Ratchet says, waving their arm to indicate Roller’s general presence of towering sturdy muscle-y bear-ness - “friend hanging around, that doesn't mean - dammit Drift, do not text him."

"Too late." Drift says, already composing a text.

"It's not -" Ratchet frowns, leaning back. After a minute, they give their considered opinion. "It's not like you couldn't kick - this guy's ass," they say, and Drift smirks. She has no doubt she could, and given the opportunity, she absolutely will. "Even aside from the fucking superpower-sword shit. It's not - it’s stupid," they shake their head. "I just - I already told you, I’m not some ‘damsel in distress’ -”

“I know,” Drift says, “You’re not a damsel, and if you’re in distress, you can handle it. I know that. But you don’t have to handle it alone.”

Ratchet stares at her with a frown. 

Drift looks at their buzzing phone as Ratchet collects their thoughts.

‘shit

is ratch ok?

i know that shitbag’

Drift notes this with relief; at least she’ll have an ally who can visually ID the shitbag in question. After all, it wouldn’t do to menace an innocent bystander.

‘i can drive tomorrow n be there before lunch’

‘ratchet's worried about 'bothering you' over 'something stupid'’ Drift types back.

Roller's typing for a while, then just sends 'its not stupid. and its not bothering me.

i dont go to the gym 6 days a week to *not* intimidate shitbags’

At that Drift turns the phone around to show Ratchet, who snorts and shakes their head. Drift's phone buzzes again, and Ratchet actually smiles.

When Drift takes the phone back and looks, she reads: ‘tell ratch ill get nami chocpb bars omw up

tell them to answer my TEXTS’

"I'll turn my phone on, tell Roller to calm down." Ratchet says, rolling their eyes fondly and grudgingly pulling out their phone.

Ratchet’s occupied pecking out messages on their phone while Drift finishes up her pizza. She steals the check while Ratchet’s distracted. She puts down her card and makes sure to leave a big tip. 

Ratchet eventually puts their phone away and looks up to finish their pizza. 

“You ready?” Drift asks, when Ratchet’s done. 

“I have to - hey!” Ratchet adds, when Drift grins. “I was buying.”

“Money’s no good unless you spend it.”

Ratchet sighs and relents, walking with her out to the car. 

Drift sits back in the passenger seat and shoots them a big smile. “Great pizza.”

Ratchet smiles, just a little, and shakes their head as they start the car. “Yeah, yeah,” they say. “Glad you liked your crazy pineapple pizza.” they add, and Drift laughs.

When the two of them pull up to the drive, Drift steps out of the car and marvels at the darkening sky and all the stars coming out. There isn’t quite the same chill in the air as there’d be back home on a day like this. She can see the dark silhouette of a towering red rock in the distance; the house is going to have an amazing view in the morning. She snaps a picture of the night sky for Rodimus, too. 

When she turns around, Ratchet’s friends are greeting them at the door.

When Ratchet turns around, they not only have their own giant backpack, but a key to the upstairs room, a box of bedding, and a leftover container full of apple crisp. Drift grins at the sight, shaking hands and making her hello’s and thank you’s.

The room upstairs is beautiful, with rich wood and high windows, and one terribly comfortable looking bed. 

Drift pokes at the leftover container Ratchet’s set at the counter, and grabs a bite of delicious apple crisp with one of the forks the two of them have been given. 

Ratchet sits down on the floor pulling things out of the box of bedding.

“Come help me with this air mattress,” they grumble, as Drift eats. 

“So I can sleep on it?” Drift teases. 

“I’ll sleep on it, you can take the bed.”

Drift grins. _Of course._ “You can take the bed, Ratch. You drove.” Drift insists, knowing it’s probably futile. 

“I’m _fine._ ” Ratchet says, their shoulders up by their ears, and Drift decides not to push it. She’d offer to share the bed - she doesn’t mind, and anyway, she’s used to sleeping in small spaces with other folks around. But Ratchet isn’t like that, most of the time, and that’s alright. Besides, with what’s sure to be on Ratchet’s mind right now - yeah. 

She really should have brought an extra pair of leggings, with what she’s doing to these ones.

“Have some apple crisp first,” she says.

“You have it.”

“Look at all this, I’m not going to eat all of it.” Drift waves the container at them. “Nothing stringy.”

Ratchet relents and leans back against the counter. Drift passes them the crisp and goes to sit down on the bet. 

Ratchet tastes the crisp and hums appreciatively. They eat a few bites before they stop, looking out at nothing. 

“How are your shoulders?” Drift says, after a minute trying to think of something that she can offer that might be comforting.

“Hm?” Ratchet rolls their shoulders, frowns, and shrugs. “They’re alright.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Drift asks. 

Ratchet looks over at her, and Drift smiles.

Ratchet just keeps looking at her for a few minutes, and then exhales, and says slowly, “I suppose, since I’m driving back tomorrow, a shoulder rub might help, if you want? Only,” Ratchet adds, “if you want, I’m fine, really.”

“Hey, I am good at shoulder rubs.” She says. Normally she’d tease them more, but, well. Not now.

“Okay,” Ratchet says, somehow even more hunched, “thanks.” 

Drift waits until Ratchet works their way around to sitting by her, and finally relaxes their shoulders just a bit.

“How are you doing?” Drift asks, starting to rub their shoulders. “How was the drive?”

Ratchet considers. “The drive went fine,” they say. “No accidents, made good time.” They say, and Drift knows full well that they know that they aren’t answering her question. “You know, you were there.”

“I wasn’t driving.” 

Ratchet sighs. “It’s fine. Pizza is good.” 

Drift lets it drop. “I’m glad we’re here.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s nice that your friends are letting us stay here.”

“They’re… kind.”

“Yeah.” Drift says. “I’m sure they’d let you stay the weekend, like you planned.”

“ _You_ need to go back.” Ratchet says. “To talk to Rodimus, and all.”

“I’ll be fine.” Drift says. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You still want to go back tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Ratchet sighs, “I should.”

“We don’t have to go right away in the morning,” Drift offers, “right?”

Ratchet exhales and rolls their neck, leaning back slightly into Drift. “No. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take some time. Shame to get here and not see the rocks.”

“Yeah.” Drift says. “How’s that?”

“Hm? Yeah, that’s good. Thanks.” Ratchet says, and their shoulders really do seem more relaxed. They don’t move to stand up, so Drift continues. 

It’s an easy silence, and Drift is grateful for the trust in her Ratchet shows, breathing easy. 

“M’nt asleep,” Ratchet mumbles after a few minutes of silence, when Drift pauses, and - okay, maybe she had been suspecting that a little. 

“Okay, Ratchet,”

Ratchet leans forward, stretching their arms out a little. “Gotta get the air mattress.”

“I’ll get it,” Drift says, but Ratchet drags themself upright anyway, Drift unrolling the mattress while Ratchet sets up the pump.

Ratchet goes to use the bathroom while the pump works, and Drift realizes with a start that she hasn’t brought so much as a toothbrush, much less pjs. That last part’s alright, she can sleep in her tank top and leggings, but -

Wordlessly, Ratchet walks out of the bathroom and passes Drift a toothbrush, still in its packaging.

“Thanks, Ratch.”

“Knew you’d forget.” Ratchet says, walking over to pull the sheets from the box and set up the air mattress.

When Drift’s done in the bathroom, Ratchet’s already half-dozing on the air mattress, but they blink awake enough to say, “G'night,”

“G'night, Ratchet,” Drift says, and Ratchet closes their eyes again, even with the lights still on. Ratchet could probably fall asleep anywhere, as long as it was safe, what with the sleep deprivation they walk around with.

It’s hardly late at all, but Drift’s tired too. She smiles with one last glimpse of Ratchet, curled up safe under the blankets, already slightly snoring, and then turns out the lights. 

\---

Drift drifts back into awareness at light filtering through the shades in the high windows. When she stretches herself out and finally sits upright, she can see Ratchet still snoring on the air mattress. She lets them sleep, she doesn’t know how long it’s been since they haven’t had an alarm to wake up to. 

Quietly as she can, Drift climbs out of bed and steps into the bathroom. Finding Ratchet still asleep when she gets up, she steps out of the room onto the landing, closing the door behind her.

The landing is open to the outdoors, and Drift has a beautiful view of the morning light filtering over the red rocks. Smiling to herself, she snaps a picture for Rodimus, and then begins her morning yoga routine.

She’s not even halfway through when Ratchet stumbles out the door, harried and distracted. “I’m late!” they mutter.

“You’re not late, Ratchet.” Drift says, trying to sound soothing. “You don’t have a shift. You’re in Sedona.”

“What?” Ratchet starts, and then looks up at the red rocks. “Oh, yeah.” They drag a hand down their face. 

“You going to go back to sleep?” 

Ratchet grumbles, and sits on the floor of the landing. Drift stops and sits down next to them. Ratchet leans over slightly, and Drift nods, so Ratchet drops their head on Drift’s shoulder. 

Ratchet catches their breath after a moment, bringing themself together. “Not even doing resting right,” they snort.

Drift shakes her head. “Want to go for a walk?” she asks “You did say it would be a shame to miss the red rocks.”

“Yeah.” Ratchet stares, looking out at the towering red rock formation in their view. “Creek’s not far.” 

Once Ratchet’s taken a minute to pull their things together properly, they set off, Ratchet leading the way down the dirt road until they reach the park turnoff. 

Ratchet’s not exactly smiling, but their face is relaxed, and their shoulders aren’t quite as close to their ears as the sun rises over the rock, into a clear blue sky. It’s not long before they both hear the sound of water. 

Drift looks up and can’t help but marvel at the massive cottonwoods growing alongside the creek, with their long, twisting branches and the patterns of the bark. She stops several times for pictures, at which Ratchet rolls their eyes fondly. There aren’t many people around as they make their way down to the creek, only a couple folks out in the early morning, mostly walking their dogs. 

They get to a point by the bank where there’s a break in the trees, and a perfect view of the towering formation above them, resplendent in gold and orange and rich reds most of all. The morning light hits it perfectly, and they both stop to look for several moments.

Drift steps on to a large, flat rock up against the water. “I think I’m going to finish my yoga here,” she says, satisfied. “If you -”

Ratchet nods. “I’m going to keep walking.” And Drift smiles, gratified that she’d called that right. “Shout if you need me, I won’t go too far,” they add, and she nods.

Drift stands on the creek rock and stares up at the red rock formation above her, where it reaches towards the sky. Ratchet’s footsteps fade until she can hear nothing but the rush of the creek and the wind in the trees. 

She takes a picture for Rodimus, taking the time to tweak the exposure on her phone to best capture the light, and then sets her phone aside. 

She takes off her shoes and feels the coolness of the rock, still hardly warmed under the sunrise, through the soles of her feet. 

She inhales deeply and begins her yoga routine again, letting the sound of the creek and the feeling of cool stone fill her with calm, feeling herself becoming more centered.

After finishing her routine, Drift looks around and realizes that Ratchet hasn’t come back yet. She puts her shoes back on and sets off down the trail to see if she can catch up with them.

She reaches another break in the trees, at a bend in the creek, and spots Ratchet laying on their back on another large rock, looking up at the sky. 

Drift walks over and waves so Ratchet can see her before lying down beside them.

Drift looks up at the sky with Ratchet, and the sky is so blue and so vast that Drift feels she could fall into it and never come out. Everything she’s afraid of feels so small in the face of it.

“It’s so big,” Ratchet says, echoing Drift’s own thoughts. “It’s just - I never got this kind of view, back before. But it really is something, out here.”

“Yeah.”

After a few moments, Drift reaches out to nudge Ratchet’s shoulder. “I’m with you. Always. You know that, right?”

Ratchet starts, and then after a long moment says, “Thanks.”

They scoot over just slightly, though, to lean on Drift a little, and that says it better.

The two of them just lay there for a while, staring up at the bright blue sky above, wide and unbroken. Drift lets herself come back to the feeling of the rock on her back, to her breathing, when it feels that the sky might swallow her, feeling herself come to a calm, centered place between the vastness of the sky and the groundedness of the rock. 

It really had been a good idea to come here.

Drift doesn’t know how long it’s been when Ratchet moves to sit up. 

Long enough for her stomach to start rumbling, though. Ratchet rolls their eyes and pulls a bar out from one of the pockets of their cargo pants, handing it to Drift. Drift breaks off half and shoves the rest back at Ratchet, who takes it with a sigh, and they walk back together, eating in silence. 

“You too,” they say, as they start to get close to the house.

“Huh?”

“You - I’m.” They fidget with their hands. “What you said. With you.”

Oh. She smiles at that. “Thanks, Ratch.”

Of course, Ratchet’s friends, being _Ratchet’s_ friends, don’t just let them go like that - the two of them had several smoothies for the road pressed on them before they make it back to Ratchet’s car. Drift grins at Ratchet’s protests and takes another smoothie handed to her before she leaves. 

Drift checks her phone as they pull out of the driveway. “Roller’s already on his way.”

Ratchet sighs deeply, but there’s a smile at the corner of their mouth. 

They drive out of Sedona, as Drift watches the formations of red rock disappearing from view over her shoulder. They make their way into the canyon, the red stone walls coming in and out of the trees. 

“Thanks for bringing me along,” Drift says, “this - really helped.”

“Yeah.” Ratchet nods, drumming their thumbs on the steering wheel. “That’s - good. It,” they add, “was good.”

Drift smiles, and leans back in her seat.

The music on the radio starts cutting out in the same place in the canyon as before.

_\- breathe in_

_The darkest country road_

_… scent of evergreen_

Drift smiles. The radio has the right idea. She rolls down the window to breathe in the smell of the trees and listen to the sound of distant water. 

_\- looking upwards_

_… my eyes and try_

_To tell … between shooting stars and satellites_

_... passenger seat as you are driving me home_

Ratchet looks over at her, and then back at the road. “You alright?”

Drift glances down at her phone. There’s a text from Rodimus, asking if she and Ratch have gotten on the road safely. And somehow, even in the moving car, rushing around the curve in the road, Drift feels stable.

“Yeah.”

_... ask and you smile_

_With my feet on the dash_

“Don’t even think about it.” Ratchet says, resoundingly not smiling, and Drift shoots them a big gremlin grin. 

They’re both going to be okay, Drift realizes. 

_\- world doesn't matter_

_... feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride_

_When you need directions then I'll be …_

_For all time…_

They’re all going to be okay. Drift will talk to Rodimus, for real, and no matter what happens, they’ll work it out. They always do. They won’t burn up or spin away from each other. Drift has faith in her heart in that. 

_\- might cut you down again_

_But .... way back home_

As the next song starts, through the static, she sends Rodimus a text letting her know they’re safely on the road, and watches until it says it’s delivered, just as they hit the switchbacks. So the signal can’t be that bad. She looks up, where Ratchet has their eyes fixed on the road.

_.... best might not be good enough_

_... just know .... not alone_

They’re all going to be okay, Drift thinks, looking at Ratchet. The two of them are going to get back and Roller’s going to give Ratchet one of those big hugs like he always does and Ratchet will hang on to his shirt when Roller lifts them off the ground, and maybe the weekend’s going to be bad, but they’re all going to be there for Ratchet, and they’ll get through it. All of them, together.

_\- I can't fix what was done to ..._

_... shield you from the rain_

Drift looks at Ratchet, their eyes fixed straight ahead on the road, their jaw set. Staring straight at what’s ahead. Drift loves them so much it’s stupid sometimes. 

She meant it when she said she’d be with them. Having people in her life she’s scared to lose just might work out to be worth it, if it’s these people. 

They come up over the edge of the switchbacks, the music clearing up as they see the long road ahead. 

_... in the dark again_

_Just turn and call my name_

_And if the fire in your chest goes out_

_Well I'll hold you all the same_

They keep driving home.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little doodle of Drift and Ratchet just chilling on a big rock: https://twitter.com/TeamSkimmons/status/1257042455788060672?s=20


End file.
